You're Gonna Get Hurt

Last night's project--'dis-en-brownifying' this little console. :)

Ten years ago Ikea put out an ad campaign depicting lab coated scientists watching other lab coated scientists test their products for durability.  It was one of my favorite commercials ever, mostly due to the deadpan faces of the scientists with the clipboards. One nebbishy, middle-aged scientist with a severely receding hairline would open the cabinet repeatedly saying over and over again "mom can I have a cookie mom can I have a cookie mom can I have a cookie mom can I  have a cookie?" In a completely uninflected, expressionless monotone while a like-faced, bespectacled woman made check marks on a clipboard. My favorite part was the nerd-scientist joylessly jumping up & down on a bed while the other scientist made checks on a clipboard & repeated in a monotone, 'you're gonna get hurt you're gonna get hurt you're gonna get hurt.'  If you want a laugh, Google 'you're gonna get hurt ikea' & watch the original. 

Yesterday's voluntary, 'you're gonna get hurt' project: unloading heavy pails

As I'm going through the oh-so-fun process of getting in shape at age 54, I'm realizing I'm surrounded by lab-coated, clipboard-wielding scientist wannabes who worry that 'I'm gonna get hurt,' & also seem fond of reminding me that extreme activities are better left to peeps twenty years younger. While I appreciate the concern, I want to say here & now you can all put down your clipboards, loosen your lab coats & stand down. I'm not as crazy as I seem. 

For one thing, yoga-for-years keeps me 'bendy.'  

Yesterday's other project--AFTER...&

BEFORE (just to mess with the order requirements in your head)

For another, I do either 100 or on good days, 200 crunches everyday. People say lift with your legs. Instead, I concentrate on lifting with my stomach, focusing on exhaling & tightening those muscles before & during each attempt.  

And most importantly, I'm fully aware of (& not one whit regretful about) my age. I'm aware the cape & tights aren't as zingy with immortal juice as they were when I was thirty. One of the reasons I started trying to get fit was my knees. To quote a favorite line from a favorite movie ('An Affair to Remember'), ' My knees--they are as old as me.'  Thirty-one pounds ago, my knees hated my living guts & my sofa was my best friend. I had stupidly taken a years-long hiatus from yoga (from whence I derive any remaining superpowers). And most decisions to do or not to do included a fear of getting hurt.  

But there was something much scarier & self-defeating looming. Unless I made real, radical, tough choices & made them immediately, I was going to have to (horrors) cull my closet contents yet again to get rid of the outgrown, & truly horrifying--the occasional chest discomfort might one day be an actual heart issue. 

54 could be half time or the end of the line, & while not completely within my control, a lot of factors are...so here I am, & why I like the challenge of so-called 'grunt work.'  

See Ma--no hernia, just happy!

Treadmills & oval tracks don't get it for me. Effort should produce tangible results, or at minimum a pleasurable or novel experience. When I was younger I jumped out of a plane & I used to run the road along the north shore coastline, then halfway up 'the Beast,' (the killer hill of triathlon fame) daily. Both fell into the category of pleasurable & novel experiences. 

I still have the urge to jump off or out of something, & I'm not ruling that out. My knees, though much happier now would no doubt flip that script if I tried running again. That isn't fear of injury, rather a realistic interpretation of an expired parts warranty. So...the tangible results idea is my current playbook. I try to build something, plant something, physically make something every day. And when I finish lifting rocks or roof coating pails, or pick-axing rocky soil to plant a tree, or build a wall, or plant a gross of seeds, I can see more than numbers on a scale or better fitting clothing. 

And that will do nicely until they finish the zipline...or until I check out the new hang-gliding group.